Choose any one, and...

Okay, so apparently HDMI (or part of it, at least) can be implemented within the PS3 internally before it throws it out to the HDMI port. A firmware upgrade last year gave it the ability to process 3D video internally before putting it on the wire. Thus, all updated PS3s can be said to run HDMI 1.4 (even though they only support one feature of it).

Shouldn't matter though, 'cause HDMI 1.4 is backwards compatible with any other version, and I wasn't even outputting 3D.

Most of my confusion stemmed from the fact that I was assuming that all the equipment I ordered worked perfectly, which I found out was not the case, and that I was trusting other people on the Internet with the same problem too much at 5am.